Aquaman (2018)

When it comes to reviewing movies, I tend to try to wrap up my thoughts about a film in a particular, easy to explain way. They range from bad to good, along a typically linear spectrum. I’m certainly not alone in this regard. Whether it was Siskel and Ebert awarding thumbs up, a local writer awarding stars, or modern internet ratings on things like Rotten Tomatoes, Metacritic, IMDB, or Letterboxd, we tend to think about things on that sort of scale. We have a mental slider, an internal speedometer of sorts, that lets us know exactly how we’re feeling about a movie, TV series, video game, hotel stay, meal, board game, or, well, anything. You can rate anything these days. When things rub us the wrong way, the slider moves to the left, toward zero. When we’re impressed, it slides right. It’s a scale that we’re all comfortable with.

Aquaman put a three-pronged hole right through my scale.

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