Some background: this comparison started mentally for me back in college, when my friend Pritesh asked if I wanted to see Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! playing on TV – he said it’s that movie with the Tobey Maguire lookalike. For those of you not acquainted with the quaint charm of WADWTH!, this romantic comedy stars Topher Grace as the Tobey Maguire lookalike. It made me wonder – was my friend comparing these two because they looked alike, or because their names looked alike? But more germane to this piece, who is just better?
There is no objective way to approach who is a better actor; so I thought, why not expand this subjectively to find out who is the better ultimate human being, utilizing arbitrary categories for comparison?
That’s right. It’s THE TOPH VS THE TOBE.
Physical Attributes
Topher Grace: white, skinny and a surprising 5’10¾” – a quick aside, the ultra specific 5’10¾” is the kind of height people who are actually 5’8” give. He’s a spry 38-year old and was born in NYC. East Coast.
Tobey Maguire: white, skinny and a just-about-right 5’8”. An elder 41-year old hailing from Santa Monica, California repping the West Coast.
Topher has the reach on Tobey, but this is for the best everything, not just the best in a fight. So we’ll call the first round of the East Coast / West Coast battle a draw.
EDGE: Tie.
Better Name
The one we call Topher Grace was born Christopher John Grace. The fact that he chose Topher over Chris or Christopher (or Pher) tells you everything you need to know about our Toph. It’s a bold choice – extremely bold, and can I can see this being incredibly polarizing – but color me impressed. To be able to pull off a “Topher” takes self-confidence and a great leap of faith (no one has a Grandpa Topher).
Tobey Maguire was born Tobias Vincent Maguire. I don’t know what I was expecting in terms a surprising birth name, but nope. Tobias Maguire – of course you would go by Tobey. And reflecting my personal bias, after “Arrested Development,” I can’t help but think of “To-Buy-Us a Cup of Coffee.” Full disclosure, that’s my own thing to deal with.
EDGE: The Toph. Bold.
Best Character Name
Topher – if I could fill every category with Tad Hamilton!, I would, but I can’t, so I won’t. So “Pete Monash” is out of the running. Second place would go to “Glavin Culpepper” in Don Peyote (2014). I hadn’t heard of this movie beforehand, but it’s a decent name.
Tobey – I cannot decide which is the more old-timey name between “Homer Wells” from The Cider House Rules and “Red Pollard” from Seabiscuit. I’ll go with Homer. If I could override the notion in my mind that IMDB is messing with me, I’d go with “Hot Rod Brown” of the 1990 TV-Movie Tales from the Whoop: Hot Rod Brown Class Clown… Just found a clip – it’s real, H.R. Brown with the win. All Day.
EDGE: HRB (Tobey).
Entourage
This is the part of the competition Tobey Bryant was waiting for. This is Jim Boeheim’s Syracuse team playing a team that can’t match a zone defense. Tobey Maguire is lifelong best friends with Leonardo DiCaprio, and was (is?) a founding member of the infamous 1990’s L.A. steam-bro-ller squad, the Pussy Posse. They laid waste to Hollywood alongside other heavyweights like Lukas Haas, David Blaine, and Devon Sawa (last inclusion not true, but it just fit to me). Legend has it that Tobe Mo is the basis for the “Entourage” character of E, with DiCaptain Fantastic as Vince. David Blaine is Turtle. Always.
The internet confirms that Topher stayed tight with his “That 70’s Show” posse – they seem like a good hang, and you have some starpower with Ashton and Mila, and Laura Prepon remains great on “Orange Is the New Black.” He also attended summer camp with Chloe Sevigny, who used to babysit him and his sister. Some cred for his old school entourage?
Who are we kidding, it’s Hot Rod Brown by a mile.
EDGE: HRB (Tobe Mo).
Flashier Debut
Topher’s first movie was Steven Soderbergh’s Oscar-winning Traffic (2000) as Seth, the preppy gateway to heroin – he drips smarm and self-loathing in his part of the drug-war triptych. The best third of the movie is unquestionably Benicio Del Toro’s arc, but Topher mixes it up with some serious actors in his first movie. Watching the movie makes you really want to push Seth down a short flight of stairs and take care of poor Erika Christensen, which is what he’s trying to elicit, so good job there. To be fair, it’s pretty lucky for your first film to be a Soderbergh movie, but he put in good “That 70’s Show” work to get there beforehand.
Tobey apparently has an uncredited role in The Wizard (1989), which would have been an instant winner if I could recall him from it. But he made his full-fledged movie debut in This Boy’s Life (1993) alongside lifetime BFF Leonardo DiCaprio. This was a 1950’s period, coming-of-age story of Leo’s rebellious teenager living with his abusive father, played by Robert De Niro. Tobey plays Chuck Bolger, who sports greaser hair and a leather jacket and… let’s be honest, he’s not pulling focus from the 1990’s baby-faced assassin, Leo. When you have Bobby D and DiCaps on the same set, you’re going to fade into the background.
EDGE: Straight up Toph.
Supporting Performances
Tobey Maguire has so much to choose from – I think his best work comes in the form of his earlier supporting turns, although he is an admirable Spider-Man in the Sam Raimi movies – those movies become more underrated as the years go by. In terms of supporting fellow actors, his James Leer character from Curtis Hanson’s adaptation of the Michael Chabon novel Wonder Boys (2000) is one of the more interesting. Tobey’s Leer is a riddle in the movie; his character keeps expanding and revealing layers and quirks in a natural way. The turn his character takes, ending the film in childlike glee at the mystery of life is a great counterpoint to Michael Douglas’ character in the movie. In a film filled with scene stealers (Frances McDormand, Robert Downey Jr., Rip Torn, Alan Tudyk), Tobelerone stands out.
Topher is good in a different way in In Good Company (2004), supporting Dennis Quaid’s unwilling retiree and Scarlett Johansson’s Scarlett Johansson. He plays “in over his head” with quick wit and charm, and you sympathize with his young, ambitious Carter Duryea character more than you’d think, as he’s unqualified replacing Quaid in his job while dating Quaid’s daughter. The character takes some balance and Toph brings it.
EDGE: Tough – it’s tight, but Tobey.
Comedy Chops
Topher is shining here – now seems like as good a time as any to bring up Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! (2004). It’s a charming romantic comedy with Kate Bosworth, Ginnifer Goodwin, an early Kathryn Hahn and our boy Toph. His scenes with Josh Duhamel’s Tad Hamilton character are bristling with Grace’s trademark quick wit and self deprecation – the log splitting scene where Pete Monash (Topher) ill-advisedly takes off his shirt is great. The movie overall is romantic, pretty corny, but overall winning as the chemistry between all the actors helps contribute to the lovable atmosphere. Monash all day.
Tobey has less to show in this department. The best showing I can think of is his turn as the young hitchhiker Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998). In this insane romp, Magsy is game to be the straight man with a manic smile. He is the stationary object between the two high-energy comets of Del Toro and Johnny Depp, whirling around the movie. Del Toro and Depp give all the acting all at once and Tobey gives very little, to comical effect. It’s something, but not enough to topple Monash.
EDGE: Pete Monash (Toph).
Dramatic Flair
Topher is the Bizarro Tobey in the dearth of dramatic roles to choose from. We can try director Dylan Kidd’s P.S. (2004), where Laura Linney is a divorceé admissions officer who receives an application from Topher Grace, who has the same name as an old flame. I don’t have that much to say about this movie, so instead, go see Rodger Dodger (2002) for an early Jesse Eisenberg performance and peak-level Campbell Scott killing it in a powerhouse role.
Again, I’m a fan of Tobey’s supporting work more – with a couple to choose from, I’ll go with the very dramatic The Ice Storm (1997) by Ang Lee. Maguire stands out a bit from the rest of the repressed and icy characterizations from the stellar cast. TM seems like the only character capable of honesty for what he wants out of life. The young actors in this movie (including Christina Ricci, Elijah Wood, Katie Holmes and David Krumholtz) handle themselves with energy and authenticity for 1970s Connecticut. Tobias Vincent Maguire always elevates a dramatic ensemble. That’s the Tobias Vincent Maguire way.
EDGE: Tobias Vincent Maguire.
Hidden Gem
Topher’s limited resume is really starting to show itself here. Maybe not a hidden movie, but definitely a less known performance – I love Topher’s cameos as himself in both Ocean’s Eleven (2001) and Ocean’s Twelve (2004), finishing his trilogy with Soderbergh. He has maybe three total minutes of screen time of screen time in both movies, but the scenes are very fun and meta.
Thought it may not be the most hidden movie in this article, Tobey Maguire’s Pleasantville (1998), directed by future Hunger Games-helmer Gary Ross, is a gem. This film is a joy, beautifully rendered in black and white, then in touches of color. It has a wonderfully relevant theme of tolerance, but it’s not too heavy-handed (at least for me). Tobey plays a critical role in the expansion of the theme (and color) in the movie – he and Reese Witherspoon magically transfer into a 1950s TV show, but it is more nuanced than that high concept makes it out to be. The film delivers a forward-looking parable through the many spot-on performances. And did I mention the movie is just great to look at?
EDGE: Tobey, in Technicolor.
Worst Thing
Here is the singularity – they share the same tragic event. There are undeniably more trashy and less successful movies in both actors’ careers, but the most personally disappointing is Spider-Man 3 (2007). Tobey makes a misguided choice in taking his Peter Parker character full into Emo territory with a black swoop haircut and has the misery of delivering the most cringe-worthy musical/dance sequence since the British “Office.” He piledrives his Spider-Man character into the ground in a form of cinematic hara kiri. Dramatic.
Topher is just very badly miscast as Eddie Brock, the character that becomes Venom – as a fan of the comic books, Eddie Brock is supposed to be physically imposing and bullying towards Peter Parker/Spider-Man, and Toph brings none of this. Being a comic book truther brings me no delight, but the Eddie Brock role itself is hollow, and Topher brings none of the physicality that the Venom villain needs. Although the role is a zero, Topher also is a zero in the human character moments.
Spider-Man (2002) and Spider-Man 2 (2004) were influential sculptors of studio superhero movie potential, and focus on the human character moments just as much as the stunts and special effects. Something human is lost on the third iteration with this crew. Overvillainization also doesn’t help in this bloated, unnecessary movie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOtpeYERu9w
EDGE: Both tied for last. No winner here.
Better Hang
If I hung out with Topher Grace, I think we’d play poker with Danny Masterson. If I hung out with Tobey Maguire, I think he’d tell me stories about playing poker with Leonardo DiCaprio. That would be fascinating, but I think Tobey Maguire would blank-stare me more times than I would be comfortable with. I feel like I could talk to Topher Grace about “Westworld.”
EDGE: Topher Grace.
Random Factoid (from IMDB)
Tobey was voted world’s sexiest vegetarian by PETA in 2002.
Topher has an extensive collection of baseball caps.
EDGE: Tobe-Trotter.
Surprising Engagement
In my research on Toph of Bread, I could only find him being engaged to model/actress (“True Blood”) Ashley Hinshaw. But it all comes back to Tad Hamilton!, as we knew it would – according to IMDB, he recommended his ex-girlfriend, the always winning Ginnifer Goodwin for a starring role in that movie.
Tobey Maguire was once engaged to Rashida Jones apparently. So, her. She seems really cool.
EDGE: Tobey. For the surprise factor.
Stock Prospects
If actors were stock commodities, who has the more interesting future potential lined up? Topher first has War Machine (2017) directed by Animal Kingdom (2010) director David Michod – details are sketchy but looks like he’ll play one of the soldiers. Fun. More interesting is Toph Dog featuring in Under the Silver Lake (2017), David Robert Mitchell’s follow-up to the great It Follows (2015) – the log line is it’s a modern noir crime thriller set in L.A. starring newly minted Oscar nominee Andrew Garfield.
For Tobey, things are more… less good. His only future credit is as the narrator in the animated feature The Boss Baby (2017), which seems like it would be a full-length adaption of the Beck Bennett boss baby sketch. Hmm.
EDGE: Toph – but someone get Tobey some more work, he’s a great actor.
MTV Movie Award Success
Tobey – One win (Best Kiss, Spider-Man), two other nominations for Spider-Men.
Topher – Zero wins, one nomination (Best Villain, Spider-Man 3)
EDGE: Tobey. Infinite percentage more Moon-men.
THE WINNER
| Category | Topher | Tobey |
|---|---|---|
| Physical Attributes | TIE | TIE |
| Better Name | ♛ | |
| Best Character Name | ♛ | |
| Entourage | ♛ | |
| Flashier Debut | ♛ | |
| Supporting Performance | ♛ | |
| Comedy Chops | ♛ | |
| Dramatic Flair | ♛ | |
| Hidden Gem | ♛ | |
| Worst Thing | TIE | TIE |
| Better Hang | ♛ | |
| Random Factoid | ♛ | |
| Surprising Engagement | ♛ | |
| Stock Prospects | ♛ | |
| MTV Movie Awards | ♛ |
After much deliberation, it is apparent that the winner is TOBEY MAGUIRE. Smile your wonderfully weird smile, Tobey.
Consolation to Topher, who (from Tad Hamilton!) I know has six different types of smiles. Use your favorite one today, Toph.
