Kevin Hart is hosting. Oops, he’s not.
A new popular film category is happening. Oops, it’s not.
Kevin Hart is back hosting. Oops again, he’s not.
Only two Original Songs are being performed. Oops, now it’s all five.
Four categories will be announced during commercials. Oops, they’re back.
There’s a non-zero chance that the 91st Academy Awards are not actually announced on Sunday February 24th, from how the Academy is currently going. In the chance that they actually do happen, David and TJ will present their predictions in every category. We’ll break down the nominees, our predictions, and will present the prediction from the Darkest Timeline – the worst case thing that could happen… might just happen. Here we go.
1. Live Action Short
Nominees: Detainment, Fauve, Marguerite, Mother, Skin
David’s Pick: Marguerite
TJ’s Pick: Marguerite
Darkest Timeline: Any non-Marguerite one is depressing and nihilistic. Let’s go with Skin, because Nazis.
2. Documentary Short
Nominees: A Night at the Garden, Black Sheep, End Game, Lifeboat, Period. End of Sentence
David’s Pick: Period. End of Sentence.
TJ’s Pick: Period. End of Sentence.
Darkest Timeline: Again, most of these are depressing. Let’s go with A Night at the Garden, because Nazis, again.
3. Animated Short
Nominees: Animal Behaviour, Bao, Late Afternoon, One Small Step, Weekends
David’s Pick: Bao
TJ’s Pick: Bao
Darkest Timeline: Animal Behaviour (why not?)
4. Foreign Language Film
Nominees: Capernaum (Lebanon), Cold War (Poland), Never Look Away (Germany), Roma (Mexico), Shoplifters (Japan)
David’s Pick: Roma
TJ’s Pick: Roma
Darkest Timeline: Cold War (basically a non-Roma)
5. Documentary Film
Nominees: Free Solo, Hale County This Morning This Evening, Minding the Gap, Of Fathers and Sons, RBG
David’s Pick: Free Solo
TJ’s Pick: Free Solo
Darkest Timeline: RBG (sorry)
6. Animated Film
Nominees: Incredibles 2, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Isle of Dogs, Mirai, Ralph Breaks the Internet
David’s Pick: Into the Spider-Verse
TJ’s Pick: Into the Spider-Verse
Darkest Timeline: Incredibles 2 (Disney/Pixar bloc overwhelms the favorite Sony film)
7. Visual Effects
Nominees: Avengers: Infinity War, Christopher Robin, First Man, Ready Player One, Solo: A Star Wars Story
David’s Pick: First Man
TJ’s Pick: Avengers: Infinity War
Darkest Timeline: Solo: A Star Wars Story (“the Academy Award-winning Solo” doesn’t sound appropriate)
8. Sound Mixing
Nominees: A Star is Born, Black Panther, Bohemian Rhapsody, First Man, Roma
David’s Pick: Bohemian Rhapsody
TJ’s Pick: Bohemian Rhapsody
Darkest Timeline: Bohemian Rhapsody (for lip synching to a Spotify playlist)
9. Sound Editing
Nominees: A Quiet Place, Black Panther, Bohemian Rhapsody, First Man, Roma
David’s Pick: First Man
TJ’s Pick: A Quiet Place
Darkest Timeline: Bohemian Rhapsody (see above)
10. Original Song
Nominees: “All the Stars” (Black Panther), “I’ll Fight” (RBG), “Place Where Lost Things Go” (Mary Poppins Returns), “Shallow” (A Star is Born), “When a Cowboy Trades His Spurs for Wings” (The Ballad of Buster Scruggs)
David’s Pick: “Shallow”
TJ’s Pick: “Shallow”
Darkest Timeline: “I’ll Fight” – generic song from the ever-nominated Diane Warren, but could be any non-“Shallow”
11. Original Score
Nominees: Black Panther (Ludwig Goransson), BlacKkKlansman (Terence Blanchard), If Beale Street Could Talk (Nicholas Britell), Isle of Dogs (Alexandre Desplat), Mary Poppins Returns (Marc Shaiman)
David’s Pick: Black Panther
TJ’s Pick: If Beale Street Could Talk
Darkest Timeline: Isle of Dogs (for a third Oscar and back-to-back for Desplat) or MP Returns (a sound-alike for the original MP)
12. Make-Up / Hairstyling
Nominees: Border, Mary Queen of Scots, Vice
David’s Pick: Vice
TJ’s Pick: Vice
Darkest Timeline: Mary Queen of Scots (for making Margot Robbie ugly, for shame)
13. Production Design
Nominees: Black Panther, The Favourite, First Man, Mary Poppins Returns, Roma
David’s Pick: Black Panther
TJ’s Pick: The Favourite
Darkest Timeline: Mary Poppins Returns
14. Costume Design
Nominees: The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, Black Panther, The Favourite, Mary Poppins Returns, Mary Queen of Scots
David’s Pick: Black Panther
TJ’s Pick: Black Panther
Darkest Timeline: Mary Queen of Scots (sorry again)
15. Cinematography
Nominees: The Favourite, Never Look Away, Roma, A Star is Born, Cold War
David’s Pick: Roma
TJ’s Pick: Roma
Darkest Timeline: Never Look Away (3+ hr German film that has been unavailable to watch. Boo.)
16. Original Screenplay
Nominees: The Favourite, First Reformed, Green Book, Roma, Vice
David’s Pick: Green Book
TJ’s Pick: The Favourite
Darkest Timeline: Green Book (for reasons)
17. Adapted Screenplay
Nominees: A Star is Born, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, BlackKklansman, Can You Ever Forgive Me?, If Beale Street Could Talk
David’s Pick: BlacKkKlansman
TJ’s Pick: BlacKkKlansman
Darkest Timeline: Nothing that dark here. Maybe The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, for only 2 of the 6 vignettes being actually adapted.
18. Supporting Actor
Nominees: Mahershala Ali, Richard E. Grant, Sam Elliott, Adam Driver, Sam Rockwell
David’s Pick: Mahershala Ali
TJ’s Pick: Mahershala Ali
Darkest Timeline: Sam Rockwell (won last year, Sorry Sam)
19. Supporting Actress
Nominees: Regina King, Amy Adams, Emma Stone, Rachel Weisz, Marina de Tavira
David’s Pick: Regina King
TJ’s Pick: Regina King
Darkest Timeline: Amy Adams (love her, but to finally win for this role?)
20. Lead Actor
Nominees: Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Rami Malek, Viggo Mortensen, Willem Dafoe
David’s Pick: Rami Malek
TJ’s Pick: Rami Malek
Darkest Timeline: Viggo Mortensen (for playing a hybrid Italian stereotype/ living vacuum)
21. Lead Actress
Nominees: Glenn Close, Lady Gaga, Olivia Colman, Melissa McCarthy, Yalitza Aparicio
David’s Pick: Glenn Close
TJ’s Pick: Glenn Close
Darkest Timeline: Glenn Close (sorry Glenn, but this is a career award – The Wife was not very good)
22. Film Editing
Nominees: BlackKklansman, Bohemian Rhapsody, The Favourite, Green Book, Vice
David’s Pick: Bohemian Rhapsody
TJ’s Pick: Vice
Darkest Timeline: Bo-Rhap. So rough it went viral.
23. Director
Nominees: Alfonso Cuaron, Adam McKay, Spike Lee, Yorgos Lanthimos, Pawel Pawlikowski
David’s Pick: Alfonso Cuaron
TJ’s Pick: Alfonso Cuaron
Darkest Timeline: Adam McKay (all of these are pretty good, but Vice was de-Vice-ive, get it?)
24. Best Picture
Nominees: A Star is Born, Black Panther, BlacKkKlansman, Bohemian Rhapsody, The Favourite, Green Book, Roma, Vice
David’s Pick: Green Book
TJ’s Pick: Roma
Darkest Timeline: Bohemian Rhapsody. Obviously.
