In case this wasn’t already known, I watch a lot of movies. Like, too many. I get tired or lazy and I sit down and put one on, or start watching one that just started. Today it was Hancock. A film, that when explained to someone who likes superhero movies, sounds amazing. A superman-like superhero is a drunk jerk who’s depressed and, while doing the right thing (most of the time), he destroys buildings and property without thinking twice. I’m in.
Quick “in defense of” moment here…I’ve seen Hancock before and was well aware it was bad when I started watching it this afternoon. I just wanted that to be clear and again demonstrate how much I watch movies. I’m a big re-watch and second-chance guy…
OK…
I start the movie and the first 20 minutes are as entertaining as an average MCU movie. Funny quips, good graphics, I’m starting to think maybe I was wrong about the film. The plot starts to develop and I bore a bit, but nothing crazy. Then it happened. I remembered why this movie sucked.
Hancock has lost his powers. He’s on the brink of death. Desperately trying to figure out what his next move should be. It is at this moment I realized that I DO NOT CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO ANYBODY IN THIS MOVIE. Hancock, Theron, Jason Bateman’s weird little kid… They could all die, the bad guy could win, and I wouldn’t care.
If there is something at the end I’m missing, let me know. During what I assume was the final fight, I took the dog on a walk and ended up playing hearts on my phone for 20 minutes. The credits were rolling when I came back inside.
Is this the number one thing that ruins main stream movies? Having characters that have zero charm and/or aren’t developed? Think of a movie full of Rickon Starks, Bella Swans, or Pistacio Disguiseys…ugh.
Will Smith, no more characters I don’t care about, please.
UPDATE: Will Smith did specifically what I asked him not to do. See – Suicide Squad, After Earth, Collateral Beauty, etc.
